My Can-Miss Experience in Vietnam’s Cultural Center

Hue was the last capital of Imperial Vietnam before it became communist Vietnam. It is a staple on the very well-trodden backpacker trail.  I can see why it is included, but it really isn’t a place I would have been torn up about missing.  

The main attractions are the Imperial Citadel (fortress or castle) and Imperial tombs.  The Citadel is fashioned after the forbidden city in Beijing.  Personally, I felt it lacked the grandeur and intimidating magnitude of the Forbidden City. Part of what made it feel like a cheap knock off is that it had been bombed to hell during the war.  There are entire areas reduced to their foundations.  Yet, for the areas still in tact, you get the notion that if Vietnam’s Imperial Citadel were placed next to China’s Forbidden city, you’d easily know which one is the genuine article.  

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That may sound harsh, but that is the risk you take when you imitate another countries architecture.  

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The tombs are much better. I did a half day tour where I visited three tombs.  Each tomb is designed and built by the individual emperors antemortem. For Emperor Tu Doc, he even built half as his summer palace before his death, while the other half acted as his tomb. 

The first tomb I visited belonged to Minh Mang. it was nice, but not incredibly memorable.  This imperial tomb is a reflection of the Chinese architectural concepts. The grave of Emperor Minh Mang was built by his successor and son Thieu Tri during the years 1840 to 1843, although Minh Mang designed the imperial tomb complex, he died in 1841. 

The Minh Mang tomb has an area of 18 hectares, surrounded by a wall enclosing 40 monuments, including palaces, temples and pavilions.The structure of the tomb is a symmetrical central axis by way of road, where the different monuments line up. This axis runs through a Lake of lotus flowers.

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The main entrance to the tomb is the Dai Hong Mon gate, from there we walked half a kilometer to reach the central courtyard. Once in the central courtyard, we climb a staircase of granite that lead us to the Pavilion of steles. From there, we crossed a bridge over a Lake of lotus flowers, the new Moon Lake, until reaching the temple where the sarcophagus of Emperor Minh Mang sits. 

After writing all that, I suddenly feel ridiculous for calling the place unimpressive, but it just didn’t leave me in awe. 

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The task of awe-inspiration was left to the second tomb I visited.  This tomb housed Khai Dinh. The scale was impressive.  When royals build monuments to themselves, I imagine they want to inspire the awe I felt at this particular tomb.  Ascending those massive steps only to be confronted with even greater, intimidating stone walls is an experience.

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The attention paid to every stone, carving, stele (an upright stone monument with inscriptions) and statue is a testament that Vietnamese architecture can amount to more than second-rate copies of Chinese buildings.  However, this tomb has a lot of western influences. 

 

The tomb took 11 years to build and is so elaborate with so many details that Khai Dinh  had to go to the French to buy steel, iron, cement and tiles. During a time of French occupation, this did not endear him to the Vietnamese people. The emperor also sent ships to China and Japan to obtain the ceramics and stained glass needed for the Tomb. Sadly, the cost of construction of the Imperial Khai Dinh tomb was such that the Emperor raised taxes to the Vietnamese village by 30%.

Upon crossing the gateway to the imperial Tomb, there are 37 steps whose railings have been carved in the shape of dragons, these dragons are the largest of all Vietnam. 

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At the top of the steps there is a small courtyard with mandarins on both sides. Then we have to climb another 29 steps to see the courtyard of ceremonies, with stone statues, which unlike the rest of the Hue imperial tombs, has 2 rows of statues where the second row are the bodyguards to the emperor.

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The last part of the complex of Khai Dinh, at the top of the Imperial Tomb, is the Thien Dinh Palace, there we can see the sarcophagus of the Emperor. The main hall contains a statue of the seated Emperor Khai Dinh upon his throne and at his feet, his sarcophagus. The decoration is made with stained glass and ceramic based mosaics broken into pieces.

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In the room next to the sarcophagus, there is a statue of Emperor Khai Dinh, scale, made of bronze. It is hard to tell from the photo but he was a tiny, little man. 

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Maybe it was his small stature that lead him to think so large when building his tomb.  Though, in comparison with the rest of imperial tombs, this imperial tomb is small, little more than 5600 square meters. Nevertheless, it is still the one to beat in my mind and as this is the final imperial tomb constructed in Hue, no one will ever get a chance to beat it. 

The third tomb, belonging to Tu Duc, was beautiful, but I had been so entranced by the gray stone walls of Khai Dinh’s tomb that I was a bit let down by Tu Duc. The tomb is an architectural complex which covers 12 hectares of surface and in its interior there are 50 buildings including palaces and pavilions. The Tomb took 3 years to build. Emperor Tu Duc designed the imperial tomb and, once finished, used in life for years as a Summer Palace and retreat. 

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Next to the stele Pavilion, there is the tomb of Emperor Tu Duc. While this tomb was not as impressive, this tomb had the most interesting story to tell. The body of Emperor Tu Duc is not actually in the tomb and no one knows where he was truly laid to rest. For fear of his enemies desecrating his body or simple looting, he was buried in a secret location. The unfortunate 200 souls that buried him were then beheaded when they returned from the secret route just to make sure no one would ever really know where he was buried. To this day, the location of Tu Duc’s body is still unknown. 

 

(the place that doesn’t actually hold the emperor’s body)Image

 

 

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(the dragons symbolize the emperor’s power, but they always rest below to sun which has ultimate power)

 

 

 

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(at the time of his living there, this was filled with rain water, and was the bathtub for the Emperor, he believed it was important to bathe in water from heaven)

Altogether, these are the major sites to see in Hue. There is a cave that is a day trip away, which I did not make it to visit.  However, should you be in Vietnam and find yourself with a real time shortage, you can cover the tombs and citadel within a day easily. Hue was not a can’t miss considering that the architecture is derivative of either China or western Europe.  If you’ve spent time in either of those places, you’ll probably just find yourself wishing you could see what traditional Vietnamese architecture looks like instead of a best of tour. In my most humble opinion, Hue is worth a stop, just make it a short stop.

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Trains, Scammers and Murderous Thoughts

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The night on the train, one of my worst in existence.  I moved from Hanoi down to Hue. While Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam, some people call Hue the cultural center. Hue was the capital before 1945, when the communist government took over the country. Hue houses the Imperial Palace, a lot of imperial tombs and quite a few pagodas. 

There are several ways to get to Hue from Hanoi, chief among those, by rail or bus. Having taken an overnight bus in Thailand, I wanted to check out the train experience. It is a 12 hour train ride, so I figured would get really ritzy and pay $50 for the soft berth, a cushioned mat that acts as a bed for me to pass the hours comfortably.

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That’s what I paid for, and that is what I got, with a bitter, bitter twist.  Coming to the station, a man at the ticket gate asked me to see my ticket, he looked at it, handed it to someone who punched a whole through it, then the first man grabbed my rolling suitcase and navigated me to the correct car and berth. Once inside, he held out his hand. Then it hit me, I had heard about this scam, I had read about this scam. I thought I was prepared for it, but he moved so fast and efficiently that I didn’t quite process what was going on. 

 

I rationalized, it would have taken me a few minutes to figure out how to read my ticket and find the right place, so I’d tip him.  I pull out a 20,000 dong bill. I assumed the equivalent of $1 was enough.  He tells me no, it costs 50,000 dong. I laugh at him and say no. He goes into his wallet and pulls out a 50,000 bill to give me an example and  continues standing there. Then he starts speaking loudly and I’ll admit it, I felt uncomfortable enough that I wanted him out of my face. I buckled and pulled out a larger bill.  Then he gives me the wrong change back, to which I exclaim, “Are you kidding me!” While this sounds innocent enough, I have recently noticed that I use this phrase when I am about to lose my shit and raise hell.

 

He quickly gave me the correct change and then clears out, but not before grabbing one of my braids to examine it. To start my hellish night on the train dealing with that dreadful crook left me in the worst of moods.

 

In my berth already was one other woman.  We quickly established that she only spoke Vietnamese and I only spoke English.  We also established that I was going to Hue and she was going to Da Nang.  

 

Next, her husband came in and they proceeded to have a very loud conversation which lasted six hours, intermittently, of the twelve hour train ride. Finally, another man wandered into the room, pulled out an iPad, tossed his bag under my bed and proceeded to sit down on my bed and surf the net. 

 

I passive aggressively gave him a death stare for a few minutes.  When he glanced around and saw me glaring back at him he stood up and moved to the top bed. I would have happily taken the top bunk, but I did not want to be sleeping near three strangers and far away from my belongings too. As it was, I used my handbag as my pillow. 

 

Momentarily after he climbed up to the top bunk, I noticed dirty feet dangling over the edge, invading my space.  The grimace on my face deepened. 

 

I slept entirely uncomfortably through the night, I woke up at least hourly in paranoid fits. Finally, at 5:30 I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to stay awake.  I used the time to write, draw and stare at the wall intently. 

 

While all of this was more than a little unpleasant, the low point of this train ride came when I realized first that my room was right next to speakers that blasted Vietnamese folk music.  Even more amazingly, the speakers lowered to a whisper when they announced what stations were coming up next. Nevertheless, bad turned into I-might-throw-myself-from-this-train worse when one of the men got instant ramen to eat. 

 

My issue with loud eating goes beyond a slight neurosis.  It ranges from thinking I’d like to take chopsticks and jam them into my ears to deafen myself to full-blown, I’d rather take those chopsticks and jam them into obnoxious eater’s aorta. The vividness and frequency with which I have imagined this is alarming. 

 

I put in my headphones and blasted my loudest rock music.  Still, knowing that world class slurping was happening less than three feet away from me, had me on edge.  When he finished, I was able to release the tightness in my muscles.  The man stood up and walked out, I breathed a sigh of relief.  

 

Ten minutes later he walked back in carrying another steaming Styrofoam bowl of instant ramen. I audibly gasped and roughly stuffed my earbuds back into my ears.  I thought I was livid as he hoovered that second bowl of ramen, but when he finished and his wife walked in with ramen for herself, I started seeing red.  On top of her slurping, she had this lip smack that permeated through my music.  I couldn’t even sketch to distract myself. I just stared at the wall wishing I was not so attached to my stuff that I couldn’t leave it unattended, just so that I could be away from these wretched people. 

 

Finally, after 11 hours and 45 minutes, the train ride ended.  The moment the door opened, I leapt from the car like I was taking a leap into freedom. Looking back at that atrocious form of transportation, I vowed that would be my last Vietnamese train experience. 

 

Side note: while my train experience was awful due to my own idiosyncrasies, I have since heard several horror stories about the train involving rats, roaches, and people propping their bare, dirty feet and your armrest. I am unbelievably perturbed that I had not heard about what a nightmare Vietnamese train travel is online. 

 

On the other hand, buses are cleaner, more comfortable and not nearly as noisy.  Busses over trains is my most solid travel advice for any trip you may take to Vietnam.

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Cruising the Emerald Waters of Ha Long Bay

Reblogged from mercurywandering:

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Ha Long Bay was beautiful.  The massive limestone rocks came out of the water like giants. Even more impressively, Ha Long Bay made green water attractive.  The water truly was no crystal clear blue, it was a milky forest green, like the trees had melted into the water. But it had such a mystique. I wen ton a two day, one night tour on the An Am Junk. 

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My trip around the Unesco World Heritage site, Halong Bay

Missed Trains and Delayed Planes: Getting to Thailand

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Thailand has been a long adventure.  Somehow this eight-day vacation managed to fly by, but at the same point when I look back it feels like leaving Narita Airport was an eternity ago. 

 
I have had an absolutely awesome time, but I think things could go either way in Thailand.  My great experience was thanks in the largest part to spending the last eight-days with my sister.  We had the roughest experience with getting here. My flight left on December 28 from Tokyo, but for monetary reasons I had to do a night’s layover in Guanzhou, China.  This was made infinitely better because China Southern Airlines will give you a free hotel if you have to stay overnight.  It was such a pleasant surprise to me.  I had been mentally preparing myself for sleeping on an airport bench and arriving in Thailand wrinkled and unwashed.  That free hotel was quite a classy move.  
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Granted, the hotel was off-site and pretty far so.  They gave us a shuttle to the hotel and it didn’t look bad.  It looked like the shell of what could be a nice hotel undergoing some serious pre-renovation jitters.  What looked like the dining room was emptied out and filled with crates and boxes, the stair-well next to the elevator looked like it was transporting you to some dark alley in the town of rapeville, but yay, I took the elevator.  When we checked in they required everyone to hand over their boarding pass; I was so relieved to find out I wasn’t the only person who found this super shady. But I was exhausted and didn’t fight them on it, but I definitely couldn’t get a full answer due to the language barrier. When I first went to my room, it looked okay, but it hadn’t  been cleaned. I go downstairs, and they tell me I have to wait for about a half an hour. I couldn’t think of a situation where at 10pm a hotel could check you into a dirty room. Nevertheless, I waited my 30 minutes and came back into a clean room.  
 
That all was very tame compared to the nail biter that was day  two of my vacation.  Misty and I were both coming from cold climates.  Granted Tokyo is chilly right now, but I don’t have to contend with the snow that Misty is dealing with.  Basically, we were both flying on the 28th and we were scheduled to actually make it to Bangkok on the 29th.  
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I knew for sure that I would make it, but because of inclement weather, I was worried that Misty wouldn’t even get as far as Dubai.  I woke up in the morning and used the hotel wifi to tell her that I was about to go to the airport and I had no Internet connection there, so we wouldn’t speak until I was in Bangkok, but I had no idea what was happening with her flight.  That was the last I heard from her.  I am on the flight wondering what I do if she is delayed a day.  We had bus tickets down to Suratthani and a ferry over to Koh Samui that had already been paid for.  The bus was leaving with or without us, and would be driving away with my money because it was too short notice to try to cancel.  The bus was small beans compared to the three-night stay in the Samui Paradise hotel that was booked on my credit card.  That was also too short notice to actually cancel and get any money back.  
 
This is where I find myself making life decisions on the person I want to be. Would I be a terrible sister for taking that bus? Am I already an awful sister for even considering it?  Would I be a fool to flush money down the toilet by choosing not to go ahead to Koh Samui and see Misty when or if she actually makes it there. I go through all these questions whilst walking through customs in Bangkok.  The line is long, everything is moving slowly, and I start talking to this couple on vacation and they look more than a little worried that I, as a female, would be traveling in Thailand on my own over New Year’s. In my mind I speculate that surely it can’t be that dangerous if I weren’t to engage in any high-risk activities.  
 
After being wracked with all the questions, I deal with trying to get wifi in the airport.  There is a wifi labeled airport free wifi, but it won’t let me sign on to use it.  That is super frustrating because I don’t know what has changed with Misty between 6:15 this morning and 10:50 still in the morning.  So I walk out of security just praying that I can get in touch with her or at least that she had sent me a message saying that she caught a later flight and would be there in time for us to take this bus, therefore making all of my nerves for naught.  
 
This is when I hear a voice call out my name.  I look up to see Misty standing by the carousel where my luggage is at.  There was just so much relief, and also more than a little confusion.  It felt very much like the scene in the Emporer’ New Groove where Kronk is trying to explain how he beat Kuzco and Pacha back to the lair despite being exponentially behind them.  I decide this is just a time to thank God for small miracles and accept that she is here and hopefully this vacation can only go uphill from tht point.  
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Now my trip to the airport was one of mental strain, Misty had a whole different experience that made my journey sound like a walk in the park.  

Sweating the Small Stuff: Prepping for Thailand

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Thailand is right around the corner and I massively screwed up on a bit of the planning.  I bought my plane ticket in October. It was a rigorous search and the dam of relief came over me once that was completed. And in a really odd fashion, Misty and I booked our hotels a vast two months before I got my flight locked down. 

From there planning has been very speculative. “I want to go there and do this,” has been thrown around a lot. Most of the day in, day out details are being left until we are in country. For my part, I heard its cheaper that way. And I definitely know that to be true, I could walk into a Japanese travel agency looking to get things planned and come out wondering how I just gave up the rights of my first born for a sea kayaking trip. It really is that expensive.  

Because of this, the lazy kind of planning works for me. However, one thing we really needed to get were tickets to go from Bangkok to Koh Samui. There are a multitude of ways to get from the Capitol to the sort-of-remote island. It involved some combination of domestic flight, night bus, night train, and ferry. 

An airplane is a little more expensive than I really wanted and the bus is..well, a bus. On the train there are first-class sleeper-cars which would give us a bed and place to stretch out. I contacted thaifocus.com to book a train in early-October.  They messaged me back and told me that I could not a reserve a train ticket until 60 days before the date of travel. 

ImageFirst Class Sleeping Berth (with a door that you can lock. The back of the sofa flips up to make the top bunk.

I let a few too many days pass between contacting them again; by the time I email them to reserve my tickets, only second class is available for the ride there, but a first class bed is available for the return trip.  So, I go through the steps of paying to reserve.  Before they can finalize it, they send another email saying that in between this time the boat s booked, so I can get the train from them, but I need to find my own means of getting the boat. 

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I can feel myself becoming a little bit peeved, because I have never had this much trouble booking something after I have already paid the money. They asked do I want to book the train ticket and here is our correspondence from this point.

Me:I’d like to reserve these seats, can I also reserve the ferry to Koh Samui too from you.

ThaiFocus: The trian is avialble as follow.

Bangkok-Suratthani 29 Dec 12 10:50p-08:05a 2nd air con SEAT

but this train we could not book the ferry connect to Koh Samui due to it is arrive at Suratthani is late.

Me: What changes does this make to the price of the ticket?

Me: I am attempting to buy my ferry tickets from another website, but I need some more information.  How far is the train station in Suratthani away from where the ferry leaves? As well, how long does it take to move from the train station to the port where the ferry leaves and how would you recommend we go.  Thank you for your help.

ThaiFocus: Thank you for your email. Normally after arrive at train staion. There are have staff to waiting customer at there then transfer to the port name Donsak take time around 1hour.  But we could arrange train with bus and boat combo only the train that arrive at Suratth ealry morning. In this case you would like to book only the train?

Me: I would like the train with bus to the port. How much will it cost and will I be receiving some discount since I can no longer get first class seats?

ThaiFocus: Thank you for your email. Due to train is avaialble as follow

Bangkok-Suratthani 29 Dec 12 10:50p-08:05a 2nd air con SEAT

This train arrive is late. We could not book bus and boat combo. We could book only the trian. 

With this I assumed they were booking the train. So later when I email them to ask them where my confirmation email is, and they tell me that I didn’t reply saying I wanted to book the tickets, they sent my payment back. (First off, the fact that they already had my money is pretty sure sign that I had signed off on the deal, but whatever). Then, they proceed to tell me that no seats are available on the train, and I am ready to go into a murderous rampage. So after some heavy duty searching, I find a bus that will take us.  

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At this point I realize that beggars can’t be choosers and I go with it since my other option is… I don’t know, hitchhiking? I get ready to pay for the bus, but as I use my credit card, a security restriction blocks my card. So, I have to buy skype credit so that I can call my bank in America, verify the charges, ask the man at the bus company to send me a new link so that I can pay, since now, the actual credit card verification link has locked me out too. 

Now, I have a bus ticket booked to Surratthani, from there we take the public bus to the port and I have already purchased the ferry tickets, but it was most-assuredly a frustrating process to get here.  

Short reflection: Could I have been more clear when dealing with ThaiFocus, definitely. Could I have done a better job at conveying my wishes and intentions, certainly. Will I still bad mouth them to anyone that will listen, yup. Because as much as I could have handled it better, how many times in the length of that conversation did I say I wanted to reserve the damn seats.

Travel Philosophies Masked as a Tale about Taipei

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The second half of day one encompassed so much. From Chiang Kai-shek we checked out Longshan Temple.

Hamish had missed seeing a temple on his first trip to Taiwan, and I am addicted to exploring temples and shrines when traveling. I shall expand that to say, I enjoy seeing where the people worship, it typically tends to be the most lavish buildings with the most sordid history, not to mention the pinnacle of that countries architectural styling. Keep this in mind, see that mosque, shrine or cathedral; you won’t be disappointed. 

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The temple was built in Qianlong 5th year in Qing Dynasty. Due to natural disaster and damages caused by men, the temple was restored several times. The doors, beams, and poles are beautifully decorated. There are a pair of bronze dragon poles in the front hall, four pairs of dragon poles in the middle hall. The sculptures are delicate. There are also exquisite wood sculptures. Among them, the well and Budda setting in the main hall are highly appreciated. 

Stepping into the place, I felt that I was undeniably in Asia and that is not a feeling I commonly feel in Japan. Even outside of the temple the street is so stereotypically and cinematically Asian.  One thing that was fun about the temple is that people were there in droves buying food products to offer to Buddha and the other divine spirits. They would buy the food from the monks, place it on the offering tables and when the tables became full, the monks would take some stuff from the table and move it to be sold all over again. I don’t want to compare a temple to a business but if it was one, they are cleaning up. They literally sell the exact same product countless times in a day. However, I could see how that would feel like a secondary concern, the atmosphere was intoxicating. The air was so strong with incense and heat if heat had a smell.  

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After the Longshan temple we went on the hunt for food, which was much harder than you would expect.  But along the way we ran into a massage place.  All of the masseurs were blind, and we sat down for a little relaxation.  My massage therapist spoke some English and attempted to keep a conversation going throughout the whole massage.  This was made infinitely harder by the fact that I was gritting my teeth through the entire experience as he dug his thumbs and elbows so deep into my muscles that I was sure I would bruise.  This was relaxing in the same way an overdone chemical peel is comfortable.  With all that being said, when I stood up my muscles were like jelly, but in a good way.  All the weight and tension had been worked out. Though it felt more like it had been beat out of me. From there we passed a shoe store.  Earlier in that day I had been remarking on how cute the women’s shoes were.  Well I stopped and bought my first pair of shoes there.  This is the thing that ruined everything else for me.  

I bought a pair of shoes for Taiwan Dollar 190. That is roughly USD$6.50. Now the quality leaves a bit to be desired, but that is a steal.  From that point, everything I ate, every admission price was judged based on how many shoes I could buy for that price. For instance, when dinner rolled around, I am sitting there thinking that I could buy three pairs of shoes for the price of these soup dumplings. 

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That only limited me so much, what can I say, I just have a spending problem.  After shoe shopping and dinner we made our way around the night market in Ximen.  Night markets are something that you really shouldn’t miss in Taipei.  The sun goes down, the weather barely cools off and people show out for good deals and better food.  The Ximen night market is not huge compared to other markets, but was a great warm up, and more importantly, it was close to the hotel, and at 11:30, all I wanted to do was crash. 

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Yet, crash we did not.  Our weary bodies were made less weary by the neck, arm and back massage we had gotten earlier. So we decided to chase that high all the way to another massage shop.  This time we went in for a foot and leg massage.  I now had a woman massaging me, I thought for sure this would be a great thing, surely her hands wouldn’t be as strong.  It turns out that she administered her own type of torture.  Her little fingers were smaller, like tiny daggers digging into my calves. She raked her fingers down my legs and I realized that it was possible for someone to scratch you using only the pads of their fingers.  Then she asked me to turn around and started to punish my back.  I was all relaxed from the earlier massage, but that didn’t mean that my muscles and skin weren’t super sensitive.  So when she started digging in, my face fixed into a pained grimace, and when she caught sight of my expression she looked honestly bewildered like she didn’t realize that carving into someones muscles could be uncomfortable.  

 

I walked away feeling like I was floating on light clouds, trying to put the pain of the massage out of my mind and just enjoy the aftermath. And finally, after all of this, after the airplanes, sightseeing, two massages, and two ice creams for each of us in one day, we finally made it to bed. 

Travel Rants Masked as a Tale about Taipei

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I have been a failure.  Based on what I’ve written over the last few weeks, you would think my life has become mundane. Au contraire, I have been a busy bee flitting from trip to trip. The first started with a long weekend in Taipei.

I wrote about the food of Taipei, and don’t get me wrong, the food was a highlight.  Every time I think about Taipei I get a little hungry.  But there was so much else packed into three days.

The best place to start is the beginning.  I was planning the trip with Hamish, my brilliant film-producing friend. This was my first time traveling with him, and that is always a scary feeling. But one of my goals this year was to expand my circle of friends that I could travel with. This came at the recommendation of just about EVERYONE.

I kid you not, every single person has an opinion about the choice to travel alone. It is almost never something positive. It is a long string of… “How dangerous!” “It must get so lonely.” “Who do you talk to?” To respond, if you’re smart, it’s not dangerous. I have an extensive inner dialogue going at all times. And I subscribe to the Dr. Seuss philosophy, “All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot!” And frankly, I like being alone. I’m practically nursing multiple personalities, so alone does not equal lonely.  Now, all of this sounds like I was not entirely enthused to be traveling with Hamish, so not true. We agreed on all the major travel questions. Did we have the same budget? Were we interested in the same things? Did our energy level and sleeping schedules match? Did we have the same objective for the trip (eat our weight in Taiwanese food and see some sights when we came up for air). Yes, yes, yes and fantastically yes.

But I digress.  Our day started at 4:30am in Japan. There was running for the train, me lagging, missing the train, catching the next one and still making it to our flight with abundant time to spare. Thank you Haneda Airport for being outstandingly efficient, and wondrously empty before 7am. The flight whirled by in a huff of movies, sleeping and questionable food.  I’m talking about you, unrecognizable green goop that was neither matcha flavored or any other discernible taste.

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From the airport, we hit the ground running. Songshan airport is really convenient. If you are flying into Taipei for a short stay, this is your airport.  Cab fare from the airport to the main station is infinitesimal. After dropping out bags at the hotel, we took another taxi from our hotel to the nearest train station, Ximen station. This later turned into a thing of shame.  Who knew Ximen was only a 10 minute walk? One of the bellhops gave us a disgusted look when we asked him to hail us a cab to Ximen. I’m certain he uttered to himself, “lazy foreigners.”  We used the subway to get around for most of the trip.  The subway system in Taipei is navigated easily.  There are a few lines, but they practically all run north to south, and the signage is stupefyingly simple, you would have to be daft to get lost.

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First, we visited Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall. This memorial hall is to Taipei what The Great Wall is to Beijing or The Eiffel Tower is to Paris. It is the quintessential look at Taipei. When I first saw it, I was struck by the beauty, and how unique the coloring was. The four sides of the structure are similar to those of the pyramids in Egypt. It’s made of white marble. The roofs are decorated with deep-blue glass as part of the reflection of blue sky and bright sun. It adds a touch of grandeur. The garden is planted with red flowers. The colors of blue, white and red express the National Flag and the spirit of freedom, equality and brotherhood.

Still, the blue and white felt vaguely reminiscent of something I had seen in Beijing. After doing some reading, it turns out the architecture of Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall was inspired by Tiantan, or the Temple of Heaven, in Beijing. It is really important in Chinese culture. Can you guess which is which?

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Chiang Kai-shek (Taipei) are the first two.

Inside of Chiang Kai-shek was a museum that told the political history of Taipei. As well, we saw the changing of the guard. It might have been only a slightly entertaining thing to watch had Hamish not mentioned that when he first saw it he imagined it to Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation. As I watched it was impossible to get the image of the super sharp movements not to go in sync with Rhythm Nation.  Now, I share this video with you, and defy you to not mentally hum the song while you watch.

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Inside Chiang Kai-shek are also places for international art performances. They are National Theater and National Concert Hall. World famous musicians (such as the great cello performer Yo Yo Ma and the great violinist Shao Lian Lin) and renowned playgroups have conducted performances there. We decide to take in a show while we are there. And in this renowned theater that has housed some of the greatest musicians of our time what do you think we get to see. B.Box of Brother and Sister II. The show is part Taiwanese traditional opera, part hip-hop beat box dance-a-thon, part slapstick comedy show, part every weird thing that theater can throw at you.  It began with a take of Red Riding Hood told from the perspective of the Wolf crying that he is the way he is because he was physically and emotionally abused as a pup.

Should you be thinking that this story sounds a bit heavy for an afternoon opera, you would be mistaken.  The story was still told as a comedy with Red Riding Hood picking up random stuffed animals scattered around the stage.  The show was all in Chinese, and the subtitles on the side were handled a little bit weirdly.  They would stick on one set of lines for maybe 7 minutes, leaving me super confused as to why Red Riding Hood was hopping around with stuffed animals, and why the Big Bad Wolf was break dancing.  Then, suddenly all the lines from the elapsed time would flash by in about 25 seconds and stick again.  This cycle and the fact that I had been awake for 13 hours already lead me to sleeping.  I went in about out for the better part of an hour and finally woke up when the story got into more of the traditional opera.  It turns out that Red cleaned up very nicely in traditional

garments and the story entirely changed.  There was about 15 minutes of serious opera when suddenly there are cans of silly string.

Silly string was definitely the last thing I was expecting when walking into this show.  Two hours after we had sat down for the beginning the lights came up. There was some speaking in Chinese, then a translation in English that this was the intermission.  Hamish and I looked at each other in disbelief and horror.  We walked out of the theatre and did not return for the second part.  I’d like to think we got our moneys worth.

After all that, we were really still just at the half-point of our day.

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Peanut soup…obviouslyImage

Is it weird that I kind of want that in my homeImageImage

So much tradition surrounded by the ever progressing worldImage
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Dancing on Alcatraz under the stars

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My friend, and sometimes travel companion, Hamish, took a trip to the good old US of A this summer.  He began sharing some of his impressions of an Australian in the States, here is an even more in depth look at what he thinks of my home country. Enjoy***

Costco Greeter: [Greeting every customer] Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you.

- “Idiocracy”

Once inside the prison state… er… I mean America, there I encountered two Americas, the trash and the treasure. For starters, in my jet lagged induced state, Paul took me to the supermarket. In front of the carpark was this ye olde’ car, decorated with bullets. Bullets my friends.

I wasn’t in the country for long, but I already had been asked a few times for money from the homeless (both those bohemian hipster homeless who do it as a “radical” statement, and those who were genuinely homeless). It also wasn’t long before I noticed the racial divide. White people in business suits, Black people doing blue collar work, and Latin people waiting tables at your local restaurant. And this was in liberal California. The other thing I noticed was that I was much smaller than everyone else, both width and height. Everything in America was gigantic. So back to the supermarket. “The Simpsons” had prepared me for “Lucky Charms”. I remember years ago discussing with my American co-worker about cereal and she mentioned Lucky Charms, (a marshmallow cereal for the uninitiated), to which I replied, “that’s real?” I had honestly thought that it was just some mythical cereal. A far out parody of American Life. Not so, as I was to discover. The trashy side of America makes the dystopian universe of the movie “Idiocracy”, and I quote:

Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] … And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn’t just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!

- “Idiocracy”

Seems like it was a documentary. Only Starbucks still sells coffee! Anyway, I was searching for something to each for breakfast when I found this:

Yes, that’s right to all those non-Americans out there, they have Cookie cereal in America. And they wonder why they have an obesity problem. Even the supposedly healthy “Crunchy Granola” (or Muesli Bars as they are known in Australia) is filled to the brim with honey and chocolate. No America, natural does not equal healthy. I eventually found oats, unflavoured rolled oats. Heaven!

That doesn’t mean that America doesn’t know what good food is. Far from it. For years, McDonalds has been doing the world a disservice by claiming that Hash Browns were undercooked potatoes all mushed together in a semi-crispy coating. True hash browns are manna from heaven!

This was at the Sunnyside Cafe in Albany, San Francisco. And it was to die for! crispy fried goodness. How on earth did McDonalds manage to pull a fast one on the world with their concoction?

I also tried to eat Chicago-style deep dish pizza (basically a pie make of pizza ingredients). Despite Paul and I getting the small pie (now I know why American’s call pizza a pie on TV), we really struggled to finish it. No one told me that in America, you bring a doggy bag to restaurants as par for the course. Otherwise you are left feeling like you’ve eaten enough for a family of four for a week. It amazes me that in a country as litigious as America that the Doggy Bag has survived. In Australia that was banned years ago when some idiot got Salmonella poisoning after eating food they took home from a restaurant. This is despite the fact that that idiot failed to refrigerate said food, they sued and got money, and ruined it for the rest of us with common sense. This is at least one area that America’s lukewarm coffee culture has thankfully let slide. Hope I’m not giving anyone any ideas!

All great change in America begins at the dinner table.

Ronald Reagan 

Seriously though, there isn’t a bad restaurant in Albany. I wanted to be like pac-man running down the streets munching everything in sight. Everything was good. Real Mexican food especially. Why isn’t this the food that America exports to the world? That said, the best food usually comes from those Mom-and-Pop stores, that once turned into a franchise, turn out like Nicki Minaj post-record-deal (seriously where is that smart rapper from those early mix tapes?).

Speaking of Fast Food, I must tell you about this wonderful place called “In-and-Out burger”. Seriously, only three items on the menu (well the one on the board anyway), and they even cut the potato and fry it up fresh for you.

I’d heard about this California only chain before coming, and wanted to check it out. If only someone had told me about the secret menu before I went (I still don’t know what’s on that menu). Carl’s Junior is also worth mentioning, if only because it featured in “Idiocracy”.

Carl’s Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!

Woman at Carl’s Jr.: You didn’t give me no fries, I got an empty box.

Carl’s Jr. Computer: Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES?

Woman at Carl’s Jr.: I said I didn’t get any!

Carl’s Jr. Computer: Thank you! Your account has been charged. Your balance is zero. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase.

Woman at Carl’s Jr.: What? Oh no, NO!

[She hits the machine. An alarm goes off, and a sign appears on the computer saying "WARNING! Carl's Jr. Frowns Upon Vandalism"]

Carl’s Jr. Computer: I’m sorry you’re having trouble. I’m sorry you’re having trouble.

Woman at Carl’s Jr.: Come on! My kids are starvin’!

Carl’s Jr. Computer: [the woman kicks the computer, and it sprays a fast-acting tranquilizer in her face] This should help you calm down. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl’s Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl’s Jr. Carl’s Jr… “Fuck You, I’m Eating.”

[Joe approaches the computer]

Carl’s Jr. Computer: Welcome to Carl’s Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES!

- Idiocracy

The sweet potato fries were wonderful, but I decided to try the Turkey burger… which as I found out, basically tastes a lot like cardboard. Which is, I guess, why it’s cheaper.

I went out for a day in the city (seems an odd thing to say, but like I said, this was a writing trip), and San Francisco was every bit as beautiful as I hoped it would be. Sure Sydney Harbour is beautiful too, but it doesn’t have that constant mist hanging over it, giving the city very romantic lighting. I took a ferry across the bay, and saw Alcatraz whizzing by. The Bay Bridge and the famous Golden Gate Bridge were both out in all their glory, although I couldn’t get a good shot of the Golden Gate. As I found out, it is a lot like Mt. Fuji in Japan. The moment you try to take a photo, it blushes and covers itself in fog and clouds. How rude!

Once on the other side, I found wetlands, just at the edge of a carpark. What made me and my little b-movie/B-52s heart jump for joy, was the discovery across the swamp of people living on the swamp’s edge. Swamp People! It was like I’d entered a 1950s B-movie. If it wasn’t for all those guns, I would have introduced myself to one of them.

Back on the ferry to San Francisco, proper. And I had lunch by the harbour. A delicious pot pie. Something I rarely get to experience in Tokyo (because it is just not done), was sitting on a bench, with my take-out pie, and eating up to my hearts content. Another thing I miss about being in the West, is that a lovely 90 year-old lady sat down next to me and started telling me her life story (until her daughter whisked her away). She was originally from Cuba, she got out 40 years ago after the revolution. We talked a little bit about San Francisco and she told me she wished they’d shut down Alcatraz and turn it into an outdoor Dance area. “Imagine,” she said, “dancing on Alcatraz under the stars.” I’d never heard of such a romantic notion. I loved it! Her daughter lived in Colorado and said it was the most beautiful part of the USA and I promised that I’d visit one day.

I decided that I would head on back to Paul’s place. And it was lucky I did. Despite the brightness of the day telling me it was still early afternoon, the clock said 7:30pm and as it turned out, that was the last train heading out to his neck of the woods. A “this is not Tokyo” moment.

The next day, we went to Paul’s boss/producer friend’s house, up in the hills. Seriously, the hill was so steep that we barely made it up the road. We came to an intersection, and had to stop to let a car pass, I thought that the car would roll all the way back, it was such an incline. Once there, they did their thing, while I sat and read up on books relating to a project we are working on. The best thing about this was his home cinema. All of the chairs were comfy reclining sofa chairs, and the screen was as big as what you find in those arthouses. It was so perfect that I was perfectly jealous. Really any serious cinema buff really just wants to watch a movie on a real movie screen, but the hermit in me just wants to do it at home curled up in my partners arms. This would be the best of both worlds. Except, that is, for that hill of death.

Paul and I finally got away from the office on the Monday before I was due back, and we hired a car and drove all the way to Yosemite. I got to see the farmlands of California, the oranges and peaches, and the big brown rolling hills that reminded me of home.

But, Yosemite was something else. This is the America I came to see. All my life I thought that the photos were doctored, but as it turns out, it really was as pretty as all of those inspirational posters. We hiked up, and saw lots of very cute little squirrels. A picture says a thousand words, so I’ll let it speak for itself.

Finally, look at those pins! For those not in the know, I was a Drag Queen for twelve years, and I always had the best gams in the business. Girls, you only get calves like that from dancing in 6″ platform heels for ten years, so this is not something you can get overnight at the gym.

Looking forward to going to the states again. Next time, I want to hit up the Grand Canyon. But first, I’m going to be there to shoot my World War Two short film.

I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonder, as the opening of a grand scene and design in providence, for the illumination of the ignorant and the emancipation of the slavish part of mankind all over the earth.

John Adams 

xoxo

If you’re looking for more observant and poignant movie discussions, check out his blog at http://hamishdownie.wordpress.com 

Lava Sprung Rain Forrest

Costa Rica Arenal Volcano trail walk, our tour guide Jose was so informative! He was amazing! I learned so much from him about Eco tourism, and how it has grown in Costa Rica in the last 50-60 years. The Arenal region is mixture of primal rainforrest and secondary rain forest. Jose said that the reason there are so many different species of vegetation is from the ground providing so many minerals due to the eruptions of the Volcano, the lava deposits actually left the ground extremely rich. They also have created a man made lake that is fed by 3 or 4 different rivers which in turn is used as a hydro electric damn point providing 70% of Costa Ricas electricity. The government created this and now over 90% of the country has electricity. Their land is naturally protected by the government so that nature can thrive.

Oh he also left this tid bit about the feeding the monkeys and animals to bring them out so that the tourist could see them. The tour guides found that tourist were happier when they saw the wild life. So to make the most if this the guides found that by giving the monkeys bananas it would routinely brought them out. This in turn made the monkeys no longer scared of humans and would approach for the morsels of deliciousness. What they didn’t realize is that the monkeys that are indigenous to Costa Rica have a completely different make up than those from Africa. The potassium rich fruit was hurting the stomachs of the monkeys in Costa Rica creating blockages and what not. They weren’t able to process the fruit in their stomach which began causing issues, coupled with the adverse affect is had for the generations to come, The species lost the ability to search for food and germinate the region and solely became dependent on the food that was being doled out by the humans.

An investigation was launched by the Costa Rican government which resulted in tour guides being reprimanded for further actions. They were taught the repercussion a of their actions and now you are not allowed to feed the animals in the Rain Forrest.

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That Dirty Thing That Nobody Really Wants to Talk About

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MONEY!

As I search for plane tickets to go to Thailand over the holidays this year I have two overwhelming feelings.  The first is…Ssshhhiiiiittttt! This is expensive. That ruminates for a few minutes every time I check the ticket’s price tag, which is never under $1000. Then the second wave hits me where I realize that it is getting harder to justify these lavish vacations.

I started the year off with a four-city tour of western Japan, followed that with a trip to Beijing. Had a lovely swim in paradise, otherwise called Ogasawara Island, then took an impromptu jaunt to The States right before a excursion around Taipei.

This year has been a whirlwind of travel, but the greatest truth is that travel is immensely addictive. As much as I have done this year, I want more. The more places I go, the more I want to go farther, longer, and deeper into that vast world out there. And believe me, if motivation alone could carry me, the wind would have whisked me far away along time ago. Alas, my greatest obstacle, money.

Don’t get me wrong, I make a decent wage, but traveling like I do, and trying to be responsible with putting little of my expenses on credit to be paid back at a later date leaves you without much in the old bank account.

Guess that’s just a quandary of life. So what discount-travel websites do you frequent?